


The Incredible Gwenpool! (Featuring Spider-Gwen too I guess)

by CyclonicJet



Category: Marvel, Spider-Gwen (Comics), Unbelievable Gwenpool
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 04:06:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19243504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyclonicJet/pseuds/CyclonicJet
Summary: {Gwenpool}(Put upon writer...or in other words me)[Spider-Gwen]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> {Gwenpool}  
> (Put upon writer...or in other words me)  
> [Spider-Gwen]

Gwen swung around and kicked the heavily armed brute in the chest. He reeled back into the wall which she promptly stuck him to with a quick web. {Oh she’s good.} Gwen leapt over the other three people shooting at her, dragging the guns out of their hands with three perfectly placed web shots. {Real good! Can I join her!?}

( _I don’t know...you’re not actually in this story…_ ) Gwen spattered two of the now disarmed assailants against the floor, and dangled the third from the ceiling. {Oh come on! This looks like so much fun! Let’s have some fun! God knows poor Gwen there needs some after that dark as fuck Venom story line you put her through.}

(I _haven’t actually finished that yet-_ )

{WHAT!? Why are you writing this then!?}

( _In a word. Writer's block._ )

{That’s two words.}

( _Shut up._ )

{So, this is all just filler then?}

( _Pretty much._ )

{Ok, cool. I can work with filler.}

( _What do you mean you can ‘work with filler’? You’re not even in this story!_ )

{You can’t see me because this is text, but I’m laughing very loudly at you. Because I am so being in this story!}

( _Like hell you are! You can not compromise the structural integrity of a plot anytime you feel like-%$ &£@) *Insert muffled noises of two people arguing over a mic here* _{#$£@%-AND HERE WE GO!}

 

* * *

 

Gwen walked out of the convenience store and sat down on the curb. _[Can I go one day without someone trying to hurt, or otherwise kill me? Is that too much to ask?]_ She sighed to herself and heard her gut rumble. The sound of police sirens were drawing close. _[If I leave now I bet I can still catch a bite to eat. If I don’t they’ll just hold me up with a bunch of questions.]_ Her mind decided, Gwen shot her way up to the roof and began moving across the city.

 _[I need a vacation. Not that I can afford one…]_ She swung her way down to a hot dog stand. “Hi.” she said. The man behind the stand simply stared at her. He was rather unfazed by her costume. _[Guess people are just more used to the costume now then I expected.]_ “Can I get a hot dog?” After a few moments he produced a hot dog. After paying him, she wolfed it down swiftly. She ordered a second.

As she chewed her way through it, a very strange sound reached her ears. She looked down either side of the street but couldn’t quite identify the source. It was music. But seemed to be coming from nowhere. _[That’s weird. I feel like I know this song. Where do I know this song from?]_

She thought it over as she continued trying to find the source. It was getting louder too. “Do you hear that?” she asked the guy behind the stand. He nodded. “Any idea where it’s coming from?” she pressed. He shook his head. _[Man of few words indeed.]_

The music was getting very near now. She finished her hot dog and re-donned her mask. She found herself tapping along to the to the rhythm on her thigh. _[Where do I know this from?]_ Suddenly a pink dimensional rift opened ten feet from them. The music wailing out fully from it. _[WAIT! I KNOW THAT MUSIC!]_ It was the loony tunes theme song. {COPYRIGHT BE DAMNED!} A motorcycle rocketed out of the portal and smashed itself through the cart.

On top of it sat a girl in a white mask, with white and pink spandex, no pants of any kind, and ridiculously oversized boots on her feet. She leapt off it and in front of Gwen. “HI GWEN! NICE TO MEET YOU! I’M GWEN!”

“Ugh, Okay. Hi.” she said tentatively. This was weird. She’d met other versions of herself before, but this one really took the biscuit.

“MY CART!” the man yelled. The ridiculously dressed Gwen {Hey! Fuck you!} turned to look at him.

“Sorry about that! Here let me pay for that!” She reached into a satchel on her bike and pulled out a large burlap sack with a green dollar sign on it. She proceeded to deposit it in his hands. “Hope that covers that!” She turned back to Gwen {Oh! I see! So no moniker for her then! Not Spider-Gwen, or Gwen Stacy 65! Just Gwen!} (My story! My rules! Get over it!) {Guhhhhh! Fine!}

The strange Gwen {I hate you.} grabbed regular Gwen {I hate you double.} by the hand and dragged her towards her bike. “Come on Gwen! Let’s go have some fun!”

“ ~~Ugh. No. I don't even know who you are!~~ " _Insert pen scratching noises here*_ "Of course I'll go with you new best friend! Let's go have some fun!" Gwen exclaimed excitedly. ( ~~You can't just alter dialogue!~~ ) {Wanna bet!?}  _*Insert yet more pen scratching noises here* (_ You can totally alter dialogue however you want and whenever you want! You're the best Gwenpool!) {See now you're talking my language!}

( ~~You know you can only do this so long as I think the gimmick remains funny. I'm the one in control here. You know that right?~~ )  _*Insert pencil scratches this time instead*_ (Blah blah blah. I suck. I'm no fun and am allergic to the very notion. Also I live in a boring ass world and am really just super jealous of Gwen!) {It's like we're thinking the exact same thing! It's almost creepy!} (Ughhh. Can we just get back to the story?) {Fineeeeeee.}

The two of them leapt on the bike. Gwen wasn't quite sure why, but she was suddenly very excited to go with this other version of herself. "Where too!?" the other her asked.

"I ugh. Wait Why am I-? she said becoming lucid again. _[What am I doing!?]_ {Ooop! We can't have that now!}

"Ah! We'll figure out on the way!" spandex Gwen {I can live with that.} said. "Let's go!" She kicked the stand up and squeezing the gear stick accelerated forward into another pink portal. "WHEEEEE!" she yelled as the two of them vanished inside.


	2. Chapter 2

The motorcycle rocketed down the long twisting road. Suspended haphazardly in an all white void, it possessed countless different turn offs, each leading to an endless parade of portals, arranged in a dazzling array of colours. "SCREAM WITH ME GWEN!" spandex Gwen {I’m still okay with this.} cried. Gwen took her suggestion on board.

"OH DEAR GOD YOU'RE INSANE!" she screamed over the roar of the wind. (Oh yeah. There's wind in the nowhere space between dimensions...don't think about it too hard.) {Wayyyy ahead of you!} 

"SURE AM!" her  ~~kidnapper~~  new best friend yelled back. Suddenly several new portals opened up, spilling out helmeted bikers onto the road along with them.

"WHO THE HELL ARE THEY!?" Gwen asked loudly and all together rather uncalmly.

"I HAVE NO IDEA! I'M NOT THE ONE WRITING THIS STUFF! I JUST ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES!" Anarchy Gwen {Oooo! I like this one!} said back to her.

The bikers closed in on them, laser swords drawn. {Ahhhhh yeah! Now we're talking!}

"Hey Gwen!" Gwenpool {Hey! You actually used my title. About time!} called. "Watch this!" She swerved the bike sharply, cutting in front of one of the bikers. The nameless, faceless, and otherwise insignificant villain slammed on there breaks to avoid colliding with them. But the lovable Gwenpool overshot the turn {Wait. I did what now?} and promptly soared off the bridge. Gwen, the one who's a spider that is, finally came to her senses and decided to take action.

Shooting a web up at the swiftly receding road, she clung to the bike with her free hand. The web stuck, and began to stretch taught. Gwen wasn't sure it would have the tensile strength to stop them. ~~She soon found out that it didn't. The web promptly snapped, leaving them both to plummet to their doom.~~ {Borinnnnnng. Let me take a stab at writing it!} (Hold on. Altering dialogue is one thing. But editing actual events!? I can't allow you to-No. I won't allow you to-) {Too late! I'm doing it!} (Wait! Stop!)  _*Insert quill scratching noises here*_

Gwen discovered her web sling totally did have the tensile strength! {A little edit here...} But not only that, it it had actually been a bungee cord all along! {A little edit there...} The two of them sprung back up toward the road as the spider version of Gwenpool was really really strong and could do that sort of thing. {Nearly done now.} They soared up over the road and bounced back down onto the winding and looping inter-dimensional highway. {Annnnnnd...} Then Gwenpool and Spider-Gwen totally ~~murdered~~ all the bikers! {Puuuuurfect.} (Whoa! I am not having Gwen murder people! Try again!) {Ughhh finee. Spoil sport.} Then the completely awesome Gwenpool and equally bad ass Spider-Gwen proceeded to brutally injure, but not quite kill, the random biker guys! (Better...but not by much.) {Batman would be proud! I know it!}

(Are you done? Can we proceed now? Like with the story?) {Yeah. I guess-WAIT! I want to actually write myself kicking those guy's asses! Let me go back and do that real quick!} (I'm not slowing down this story anymore just to indulge your vanity!) {Awhhh come on! Pleaseeee!} (No!) {Fine! Then I refuse to continue on in this story!} (What does that mean? You can't just leave the story?) {Sure I can. It's easy. Watch!}

Gwen landed back on the bike after brutally clobbering, but not quite fatally injuring, the random biker guys. Her strange other dimensional self was gone. (Ummm...Okay then...So she can just leave then I guess...)

"What the hell?" Gwen said aloud to herself. "Where'd the the crazy me go?" _[Better question Gwen. How do I ride a motorbike!?]_ She grappled with the handles.  _[Oh my god! Why is web slinging so much easier then this!?]_ The bike twisted and turned as Gwen desperately fought for control. "Come on! Stupid machine! Do as I say!" she yelled in frustration. Today was not going at all how she had expected. But then how often did people get abducted by alternate dimension versions of themselves? _[Who also apparently decide to vanish at the most inconvenient of times!] (Side note. This sort of thing occurs far more frequently then one would think.)_

Gwen finally managed to get the bike under control, at least enough to ride it straight, if not all that competently. Then...then...(I’m going to be honest with you reader. I have no idea what happens next. No idea where to go. I’ve kind of hit a dead end at this point. I think I should go back and rewrite the story. Try and have it actually go some-) {Oh my god you’re hopeless!} (Oh thank go- I mean oh hello. You came back then? I thought you said you were done with this story?) {Oh please. Of course I came back! Do you think the reader really ever entertained the ridiculous idea I wouldn't be back?] (I would hope yes?} {Ding Dong. You are wrong!} (...) _*Insert uncomfortable pause here*_ (So are you going to re-enter the plot then?) {I already have.} (Wait. What?) {Yeah! I mean you've already missed me and Gwen reconciling and talking out all our differences. We're all good now.} (But that didn't happen...) {Sure it did. Just look at the story!}

"I'm really glad we get all that sorted out between us." Gwen said. "It's actually quite nice to meet you. You’re a breath of fresh air from the other Gwen’s. Just don't do that disappearing thing again on me please."

"No promises!" Gwenpool said.

(No this isn't-That's not-YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE THE MAIN PLOT HAPPEN OFF SCREEN IN A WRITTEN STORY!) {Sure you can! We just did! Now, I’m moving on!} {ON TO WHERE!?) {Wherever the story takes me next!}

* * *

 

“Soooo. Where are we going!?” Gwen asked.

“An excellent question!” spandex Gwen said. {Hey, writer! Where are we going?} (Beats me.) {You’re the one writing this stuff! How can you not know!?} (This is all off the cuff you know. I don’t know anymore then you do.) {Well that seems like terrible form.} (It has its drawbacks.) {So in other words you don’t have any idea what your doing?} (Not really...) {You’re ¥%#@$ useless! Fine then. I’ll pick where we go!} (How are you going to pick? You’re in my imagination!) {Yes but I’m a real person in your imagination independent of you now aren’t I. My words may come from your head, but they’re not really yours now are they?} (Wait. That doesn't even make any sens-)

“This way!” yelled the knock off deadpool. {Wow. Real original observation.} (The truth hurts doesn't it.) {Except I look way better then Deadpool. Also I'm a lot funnier!} (Wow. Vain much?) {Now who can't handle the truth?} (It's easier to to handle when it's an abject lie.) {You calling me a liar!?} (I ain’t calling you a truther!) {You stole that line! Try writing your own damned material!} (I write plenty of my own-)

“Will you two shut up! I’m trying to be awesome over here and you’re distracting the reader from watching me be awesome!” yelled Gwenpool. {Y-You can’t tell me to shut up!? I AM YOU!?!?!?} “That a fact? Well just watch me! Shut up! See I did it again!” (This is way too meta for even me to-) {“Shut up!”} they yelled in unison.

"Who are you talking too?" Gwen asked.

"The writer." Gwen replied

"The who?" Gwen responded.

"You know. The writer." Gwen retorted unhelpfully. "He who controls our lives with but an arbitrary flick of the pen-" (Actually it’s a stroke of the keyboard-) "-fine! Keyboard! Whatever! Point is he controls our lives, altering and messing with us on a whim."

"Are you like referring to god or something?" Gwen said.

"I’m sure he likes to think of himself that way. The self centred narcissist." (Hey now! I never claimed divinity! But I mean...if the shoe fits…) {It doesn’t. It really really doesn't. You’re trying to squeeze a size 13 foot into Cinderella’s glass slipper.} (...harsh) {But true.}

"Okayyyy then." punk rock Gwen said. 

"Anyway!" the not punk rock Gwen said. "I think we'll choooooooooseeeeeeeeeee..." {Really labouring that O and E button aren't you?} "-this portal!" she concluded. She dove the bike into a portal that sparkled every colour of the rainbow and from out of which funky upbeat pop music was emanating.

{Alright. This seems like a good place to stop for now.} (So, you ready to do this again next chapter?) {That depends. Think you can write it a little faster this time?} (That joke will not age well you know, as no one will really get that it took like a week between chapters in the fut-) {Ughh huh. I think you've drilled the jokes into the ground now. Even I'm getting bored of them.} (Fair point. I think I'll just end it now.)

**Author's Note:**

> This was very experimental. But I had a freaking blast writing it. I don't know if theirs anymore to this as of yet, but I guess time will tell. Any feedback would be wonderful! Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
